On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
