i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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