You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
