Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
look no pants
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
