I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
