she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize