hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
