So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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