What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
