I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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