god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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