me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
that is very illegal...i love you.
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