I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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