I think i sorta joined a cult last night
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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