Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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