My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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