PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
my liver is dry heaving
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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