I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
