Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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