dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
