My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
