I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
