i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
