yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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