There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
