North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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