I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
