He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
