She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
