i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
