somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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