I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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