We're facebook friends in real life
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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