dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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