So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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