Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
