hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
