I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Vodka?
Forever.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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