Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
