why didn't you poke me back
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
