the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
