Moan for me like Helen Keller
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
