Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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