Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
