My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
