If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
