why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize