she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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