I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize