i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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