i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
