She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
