what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize