Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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