Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
