i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
