Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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