great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
