I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
