You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
