How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
