I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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