dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
