My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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