thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
