I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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