Jerry, you need to find god
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
